i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Randomize
