is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
