How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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