omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
