She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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