Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
