Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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