my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
