planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
