Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
