if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
