that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
