He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
