GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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