he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
