Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
