You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
