THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
