I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
