Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
this will be a night to untag.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
