hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
