yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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