I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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