It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
two words: eviction party
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
