think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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