we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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