That's intense
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
