Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
