I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
