wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
