Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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