i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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