she woke up with a sticky ear
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
