never play flip cup with pint glasses
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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