and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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