you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
