i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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