Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize