I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
