I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
