Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
