the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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