Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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