Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
