Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
