so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you didnt know i had herpes?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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