I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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