I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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