VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
