I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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