Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize