If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
