so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm at about main and main street
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
