I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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