I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Couch. On fire.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
