I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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