We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize