pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
