I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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