This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm having to shit out rocks
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