I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
