We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
