Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Buhtt sex?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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