You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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