i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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