I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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