It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
